how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
