mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
