i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
