he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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