Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
