What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
