I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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