worst night to have a conscience
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
