This girl is more easily done than said...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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