Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she peed on how many people?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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