My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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