The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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