Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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