lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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