Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
