I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
