I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
