nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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