pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wish my penis had a tongue
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
