pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
