im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
