If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
