im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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