i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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