Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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