No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
