I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
