You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
