Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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