first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
