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I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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