He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
