My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Found your dick twin last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
