We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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