It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
