No stitches, just platelets and will power
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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