You just made me feel so damn special
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
