A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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