Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
