In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
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