i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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