glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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