In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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