This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
