My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
