So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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