finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
