i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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