I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
