trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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