BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
