After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize