After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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