I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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