i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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