Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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