I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
