we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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