My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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